Instead of complaining to your partner or work colleagues, give yourself some time each month specifically to complain about everything and anything and to let off steam with a trained professional. This intentional practice is an excellent way to de-steam without blowing up in someone elses face.
Complaining can act as a precursor to counselling. Book a counselling session now and learn to practice Consciously Complaining.
You can start out with some conscious recognition that the complaining needs to happen. In our work we say “I don’t need you to fix me. I just need to complain.” Then, you’re allowed to bring up whatever’s stuck in your head—“Things are just rotten, this situation is bothering me, and things are too hard,” etc, you can swear, get angry, spiut the dummy.
When you’re complaining, make sure that you name – out loud – any emotion you feel. You may want to be very articulate about how annoyed, disappointed, uneasy, enraged, distrustful, or humiliated (etc.) you feel.
Learning to feel and name your emotions will help you become emotionally fluent but more than that, the act of naming your emotions can help you calm yourself down and organize all of the action-requiring programs you’ve got running.
Complaining consciously with a therapist is an excellent emotion regulation practice that will help you become more skilled in the presence of every emotion you have.
Your therapist's job is to support your complaining with helpful and upbeat yeahs! and uh huhs!— no advice, no suggestions, just enthusiastic support. Your therapist's job is to create a safe haven for your complaining — which immediately makes it less toxic.
Book a counselling session now and practice Consciously Complaining.